Stars Hollow Heros
by FatBottomedGirl
Summary: Stars Hollow is being threatened by evil forces! Lorelai and Rory have been turned to super heroism during freak accidents involving coffee and fat kids! They could be the only one that can save Stars Hollow! Jess is wering a red bikini!Im serious!
1. The Birth of Captain Cofee

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this story. I do not claim that any of the story's contents is meant seriously.**

"I need coffee," Lorelai stated with a pleading almost helpless look while holding a mug that looked as if it could hold most of the Mediterranean Sea.

Luke didn't bother to look up, as he wrote down someone's order rather obsessively.

"I ne-ed coffee," she pleaded swaying the mug in his face; he quickly dived out the way skilfully as it almost crashed into his right cheek.

"There are many well-trained American army officers that have advanced skills in criminal persuasion, _none_of them could persuade me to even let you _look_ at coffee. It's unhealthy" Luke grunted.

They were in Luke's Diner, Lorelai with half blow-dried hair, half crazy wet mop; Luke with his trademark baseball cap and an unhappy Kirk groaning about beef-burgers, "Luke, I said medium rear… this is cooked to ash…. I demand a new one!" Kirk finished with a smash of his hand on the counter, they both ignored him easily.

"I'll sing," Lorelai threatened, with an evil smirk.

Luke glanced up, "Y-you wouldn't," he stuttered, terror spreading over his body like margarine; he dropped the notepad he was writing on. 

Her evil _smile_ grew wider over Lorelai's face, " I have a meeting at the bank in an hour, I need coffee, there are many extremes I will go to," she whispered in a sickly sweat voice.

"Y-you wouldn't," Luke repeated "not in my diner." He tried to stand his ground by standing up straight with his head up high, but lost all courage when he saw her lean in on her elbows her eyes glistening with mischief.

"Ever heard of the Brittany Spears song "Hit Me Baby One More Time"?" she asked and started to climb onto the counter, her heels making a ear piercing sound as they screeched against the counter.

"Lorelai, get down from there, this is ridiculous," Luke said, looking up at her as she wiggled her hips, rubbing her hand against her throat as if to make it relax for her oh-so-angelic-voice.

"'_My Loneliness is killin' me_,'" she began, raising her hands as her voice got higher, "'_I must confess I still believe_!'" she continued as Kirk started singing vocals, "_Still believe_!" he croaked in an feminine voice before Luke grabbed him by his collar and threw him in his seat.

"Here's the key to the back room, it has all my coffee supplies and already made coffee," he staggered giving Lorelai a rusty set of keys, before running into the storage room and turning the radio up as load as he could to drown Lorelai's voice from his mind.

"Aww, you didn't have to do that…" she smiled and skipped of behind the counter. What Luke didn't know was that he had made the prime fault of all.

Lorelai examined the old keys, these looked older than the movie "Cry Baby" she thought she walked down a narrow hallway towards an even older and narrower door.

Now her mind was of coffee and on Johnny Depp's angelic looking face as he started to dance the 'Cha, Cha, Cha' with her… mmh, and now was back on coffee.

She entered the enormous room to find hundreds of giant vats of coffee, almost touching the ceiling, brewing away. It smelt like… like… heaven. She was in her coffee god's heaven. She smiled at the world around her.

Her world froze. She could feel her heart pumping, romantic music playing in the background.

Like enormous rainwater tanks the size of the Eiffel tower.

She cautiously crept through the valley of caffeine carriers until she came across the reception desk, which oddly enough, had a friendly looking receptionist who looked like a spitting image of Jess… wearing a bikini. Red bikini.

"Need coffee, need coffee… coffee, coffee, coffee!" Lorelai rambled.

Jess looked up and smiled warmly.

"Hi, and welcome to Coffee. Co: the world's largest producer of coffee! How may I help you?" He asked all together to enthusiastic, placing his checklist down and adjusting the phone head ware attached to his ear. Was this a secret, less monotone side of him?

"Nee-heed coffee," Lorelai repeated.

"Of coarse! Just approach one of our friendly staff for assistance!" He replied, before answering the phone in a sicklier sweat voice than her own.

What staff? Lorelai thought as she turned around, looking up toward the glass ceiling.

There, waddling about in mid-air, were hundreds, no thousands, of miniature sized workers of Luke Danes. Thousands of little winged midgets with backward baseball caps and facial hair, all managing the coffee.

"Aww, Luke has his very own Oompa Loompas!" she grinned thinking aloud.

Lorelai stood in awe, and then started climbing, still in admiration, up the long ladder leading to the top of the biggest tank. 

One of the cranky coffee fairies flew toward her.

"Miss, this coffee is very strong, possibly you could go to a different vat," The mini-me grunted in an un-human voice. "What's your nick name? Grumpy?" she scoffed while shoving him away so he went flying threw the factory saying "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Lorelai stopped listening to the warnings; she bombed into the pool before the Lil' Lukes could stop her.

Drinking.

Swimming.

Immersing her body and soul in the great, strong…great…well, coffee.

In moments the enormous vat was empty and Lorelai lay motionless at the bottom, every now and then letting out giddy laughs.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Screamed the Oompa -Loompa's.

"Why did you let her drink the Crystal Coffee!" One shouted.

"What the hell is crystal coffee!" yelled another, scratching his head in confusion.

"There's no such thing, I made it up! I didn't have enough time to think of something like… mmm…. Courage's Coffee Killing Caffeine," The first shouted back, "But she just drank the most powerful fluid in the world, it's fatal to humans!"

"More powerful than holy water?" asked the smallest.

"Oh, here we go, mister religious strikes again!" scoffed a particularly scruffy one.

"Arg, I am gonna get fired! My wife is going to kill me!" the first screamed as the new intern took notes of what was going on.

Ten metres below lay Lorelai, not breathing, heart not beating. Her only hope was her incredibly advanced stomach. Please wake up, Lorelai! Me hungry!

Her eyes snapped open, her mouth snapped in a sharp breath and she took to the skies, at the speed of sound, fists in the air!

"WOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She broke through the roof without any effort at all and flexed her knew grown massive muscles.

"Ha ha!" she laughed in a some-what noble way, "Trouble is brewing at the bank! My help is needed!"

"Oh, darn! My hair is ruined!" she huffed.

And with that she placed one hand on her hip and the other, still in a fist, above her head and flew away so fast it became a blur.

Jess watched all this from behind his desk and spoke into his earpiece in a quite voice.

"Yes Boss, it has been done," he whispered, "No Boss, the workers don't know. Yes. I see. Okay," he backed away into a dark corner (that just so happened to be right behind him) and continued.

"No, I wasn't the one who ate all the corn flakes!" he whined.

"She is really the only one who will be able to save us?" he asked even quieter before adding in a cheery voice "Oh, and Luke? Can I go to the city tonight?"

_In a time where the weak and tired are deprived the right to sufficient caffeine,_

_A time in which injustice is served from Stars Hollow to the Hollow Stars of the sky,_

_Only one stands out, one hero, one woman, one caffeine addict! Introducing…_\/p>

………

_We are sorry; Lorelai hasn't come up with a name yet…_

**R&R plz.**

**Advertisement: A new Adventure, and maybe a new man! It's a story to be read! Written by sixtoe22! U can't miss it!****Trogan, OTH Gilmore Girl crossover!**


	2. Rory's Smartification

**Disclaimer: Ownership, ownership, my kingdom for some ownership! I don't own anything related to anything in any way, especially not the afore mentioned Shakespeare line.**

Back at Chilton, Rory and Ludwig, a foreign exchange student from go-knows-where, was tidying up the chemistry lab after one particularly messy double lesson of Advanced Chemistry.

Ludwig, who had accidentally tipped over not one, not two, but three peculiarly coloured fluids, and had been obliged to stay back and clean, but Rory, off corse, had offered voluntarily.

"So, Ludwig, how long have you been going to Chilton?" Rory asked politely whilst sweeping up some broken glass, turning to face the stubby looking boy. He kept brooming before realising she was speaking to him.

Ludwig looked directly at Rory and muttered something in a language that Rory couldn't identify, she was pretty sure he wasn't saying a pleasant response. He then reached out for a large bottle of vinegar. It just so happened to be on the counter next to him…

"So, are you doing any extra curricular work for the school? I here the foreign language tutoring is looking for some European tutors!" she continued brightly trying to start a small talk conversation, her eyes filled with confusion as she saw him with the vinegar bottle.

Ludwig shook his head, still mumbling, and unscrewed the vinegar bottle.

"Oh, be really careful with that! It could be dangerous!" Rory started, holding her hand out to protest the probable explosion.

Ludwig didn't stop; he knocked over the bottle with both hands and gave an apologetic look at Rory.

Rory shrieked as she watched the horrible scene unfold before her, Ludwig looked at what he did and smiled politely before picking up his broom again.

The vinegar had spilt all over the other chemicals and started ejecting smoke from the emerging foam and bubbles. The mixture of chemicals spread quickly over the table, and then to the floor.

"You moronic, idiotic, European fatty!" Rory shouted with rage and fear, "Oh my god, we have _got _to get out of here!" she screamed, taking his broom and snapping it in his face she saw his heart break before he frowned evilly at her.

Ludwig raced to the exit, Rory behind him, and jumped through the door, he had to squeeze a little to get threw it as his wide hips got stuck in the doorframe. He looked up happily thinking he had done well, then shutting it happily in Rory's face and locking it.

"Ludwig!" Rory yelled frantically. "Open the door! Open the door!"

"Me sorry, I not understand, you say 'Opals On The Floor'?" came a calm voice from the other side as the boy scratched his head in confusion.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Rory screamed, banging on it hysterically.

"I is sorry Rory, you is speaking to fast, slow please," replied Ludwig's voice, innocence dripping off it like honey.

Suddenly, a loud fizzling began from behind her. She spun around and watched in horror.

Fizzle.

Fizzle.

Crackle.

Pop.

_**BOOM!**_

_What the hell? Am I in a batman comic or something?_

The teachers had heard it from the other side of the school.

The students in the cafeteria all looked up from their meals.

A peacefully sleeping hobo opposite the school even awoke from his slumber, "Aww. Darn… I just dreamt I was Brittany Spears… it was so sad," he groaned before taking a swing at a pole.

They all rushed to the source of the sound, dreading to find the damage.

Tristan was the first to get to the door as he saw his beloved; he banged on the door yelling her name,

"Mary, Mary!" a kid turned to him, "What are you doing here? I thought you were in Military school?" he asked the distraught Tristan who disappeared into a dark corner and laughed crazily.

With great effort they broke down the locked door and inspected the tragic scene.

Among the rubble of white plaster from the walls, the white tiles that had erupted from their usual position on the floor and the shattered white furniture, came a struggling white figure.

Rory lifted herself with great effort from the ruins, gasping for breath.

The members of school staff rushed in to help her, trying to support her frail body.

Rory shook them off and puut on her serious thinking face.

"Wait a minute now," she whispered, as the teachers and school nurses huddled around her trying to lift her on hospital bed.

"Wait a minute," she repeated "That vinegar was supposed to have no effect on the mixture of chemicals, it doesn't make sense…" she started, talking more to herself than to anyone else. "What the hell is that chick talking about?" the homeless man asked.

"There was an alcohol in that mixture and the functional group is R-O-H," she continued muttering as the nurses placed her on hospital bed.

By the time they had gotten her to the hospital Rory had figured out what had triggered the explosion. It was Ludwig.

He had spilt the vinegar in such a fashion that it had mixed with the Carbonic Acid which double bonds to – well the bottom line was that somebody had placed something in the vinegar, we might as well blame it on the fat exchange student…

How she figured that out without even a chemistry book you ask?

Well since there are no hydrogen bonds in Aldehydes and the functional group of Ketones is – never mind, but something from that explosion had prompted the very essence of her already impressive intelligence. Now that the shock and all other feelings had been experienced and now gone she was now overwhelmed with… _anger_.

"LUDWIG? GET YOUR FAT ASS, AND DIPLY LEGS OVER HERE NOW!" she yelled, before telling the nurse how the universe had _really _been created.

Back at Chilton, under a desk in a room with no one inside, Ludwig had flipped out his phone.

"Boss? The mission is completed. Ya, she is at the hospital. Yes, my accent was completely believable, no-one would have guessed that I'm actually Caesar" he whispered in a happy voice. He continued.

"What about her mother? I mean she has also _changed_? No, I mean, is she also, well, _special_? No I'm not signifying that I think her mother is retarded! Oh yeah, just because you got the hots for her!" he scoffed through the darkness of the well-lit room.

"Come on Luke, you've liked Lorelai ever since she came to Stars Hollow! Of corse I like her but that is purely because I think she can save Stars Hollow from doooooooooom!" he said the last word in a low long voice.

The voice on the other line paused for a moment and replied quietly:

"Don't worry, now that we have them both as super hero's we just need to get Rory to decipher who the villain is, then they can help destroy his plans,".

Ludwig replied in a somewhat stern voice, "If you're so all knowing, Mr. Fortune-Teller, why don't we know already?" he mocked.

"Because," replied the voice "Many dark vibes are coming from this evil-doer. Many fresh, juicy, high priced vibes. MY GOD!" it yelled. "Doosies Market!" he said in an exposed voice.

"Luke, you think now is the time to be thinking about food?" he sighed before hanging up aggressively looking up to see students looking at him weirdly.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Paris asked in a annoyed voice before her expression turned angry at the shyly smiling fat person, she kicked him in the ribs making him roll onto his side and out of under the desk and heave for air as it failed to come threw his lungs.

"Eah, eah… heeeeeeeeelp!" he yelped as class began with him on the ground his legs and arms in the air.

_When many educated professors are pondering on dumbing down America's new generation,_

_When chemistry tests are coming up on Friday and you haven't studied at all for you have been preoccupied checking out that hot new chick you met at registration,_

_When you want to find out whether your secret crush (most likely that hunk Tristan DuGrey) likes you in the way you like them…_

_Only one can excel…_

_Brain Babe!_

**Nah, just kidding, I'm not actually going to call her Brain Babe, unless I'm completely desperate.**

**Read and Review or just review which would be hard because if you haven't read my instruction to do so.**

**Advertisement: One journey, one Adventure, about a million romances!**

'_**A New Adventure, And Maybe A New Man**_**'! By sixtoe22.**

**It's a Trory, with a hint of Rogan, Java Junkies and Trogan! All the way baby!**

**Thanx 2 my beta sixtoe22, shes da bomb baby!**


	3. What's in a name?

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Who would believe that the one who does would spend their time writing retarded stories such as this?

"MMMMFFGHKKKFJJJ!!!"

"O my God, Rory! I was so scared, I thought you were dead!"

"MMMMNFFLAGA!!!"

"The hospital called and I was at the bank and my hair was retarded and the banker was looking down my top, by the way; major hottie! And I was getting frantic and – "

"MMMMMMMMMMFGGGGGGGKKKLLPPPUZZZTRYDDD!!!!!!!"

Rory pried herself away from her mother's grasp and gasped for air. They were at the hospital, Rory lying snugly on the bed and Lorelai sitting beside her, suffocating her with a hug only a mother powered by coffee-enhanced hormones could give.

Lorelai had arrived at the bank and regained her _human _composure. Halfway through the meeting with Trainee her mobile had rung. Lorelai had been at the hospital at the speed of light. Or, she would have it the roads weren't jammed…

"Mom, are you trying to suffocate me?!" Rory asked breathlessly.

"Well I was planning on a casual: Yo wassup Rory, bras? Awesome sheets! But I'm sorry to say your mother isn't really that cool," Lorelai replied sounding breathless herself.

"I'm glad you're here," Rory said resting back in the pillows, "Dean didn't answer my call and I'd read "A Brief History of Time" three times already,"

Lorelai crossed her legs on the bed.

"Dean isn't here yet? School's over and there's been plenty of time for him to come."

"I know right? It's kinda weird and he hasn't even called back…but I've sorta been occupying my mind with other things," she stated, looking down at her fiddling hands.

"Same. My minds been reeling, let me tell you," Lorelai started excitedly, a smug grin on her face. "Something incredible has happened that you will not believe!" she was contemplating weather or not to do a drum roll.

Rory was getting interested also. And relieved that her mother was too interested in what she was saying to hug her again. Phew, she'd just managed to regain her normal breathing speed.

"Something amazing happened to me too!" Rory said with a scarily happy smile on her face.

"Yeah but what happened to me was incredible, that's more important than amazing!" Lorelai retorted.

"Nah-Ah! Incredible deserves not to be credited as its title suggests, how ever amazing has the power to amaze, so amazing is more important!" Rory explained loudly, moving her hands as she explain, rolling her eyes as if it were obvious as she came to her closure.

Lorelai was silent and poked her tongue out before sulkily crossing her arms, allowing Rory to amaze her.

Rory sat up straight and inhaled deeply, "Well, through the chemical explosion I gained extreme brain capacity and mental abilities that ordinary humans could never master. I have gained code-breaking skills, and can transfer data faster than any computer ever made and I can control minds."

Silence

"In other words I have super powers," Rory offered after a deep breath.

Lorelai scowled at her.

"You really know how to steal someone else's glory don't you?" Lorelai scoffed.

"What do you mean?" Rory gasped.

"Well there were these oompa-loomps, and coffee pools, and Jess as a secretary-" Lorelai stopped her excited rant at the confused look on her daughters face.

"Well to cut a long story short I have coffee powers and stuff like that."

"Incredible," Rory said dully, rolling her eyes.

* * *

"How about: Smarty Pants?!" Lorelai suggested to a pissed off looking Rory.

"No."

"Mrs. Brain?"

"No."

"Thinky?"

"Nope."

"The Smart Ass-asin?"

Rory looked up at her mother with a doubtful look, "No,"

It was evening and nearing darkness. Lorelai and Rory had driven home and were discussing their new found abilities over Chinese take-out with the same casualty as if they were talking about screeching puppies walking on their hind legs… Lorelai was set upon special super hero names for the two of them

"Mom, why don't we talk about _your_ super hero name? If we can really call it that. I mean, we're not even super heroes are we? We're just to people who happen to have strange abilities, we don't need names!"

"Okay, One: I already have a name. Two: we are so super heroes, I donate to Goodwill! Three: We're not just two people we're two _good-looking _people and Four: We do so need names so that Goodwill can say who donates all those sweaters!" Lorelai explained in that vociferous way of hers.

Rory paused. Taking in this side of the debate.

"What's your name then?"

Lorelai smiled smugly. "Kathy Coffee!"

"Mom, your name is not Kathy. Therefore it can not be Kathy Coffee!"

Rory was silent for a moment more and replied in a small but serious voice.

"Mom, maybe we should be more serious about this. We don't know how this happened and it can't be a coincidence that it happened to both of us on the same day. Something dark is going on. Maybe there's a reason for why we have these powers. We need to be – "

**SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!**

Rory was soaked in mild and sweet coffee. It dripped from her clothes and hair making a puddle on the floor. Rory narrowed her eyes at her doubled over, laughing mother with her coffee emitting hands outstretched before her.

Rory wiped the liquid from her eyes. "Right. THAT'S IT!!!"

Lorelai jumped up and threw rice in her own face and then ran toward their _betty_ _boop_ lamp shade and started banging herself over the head with it shouting "I wish I was more like Rory, Im just a stupid idiot! Dwinky Dinky Doodle, Honk!!!!"

Rory had her face twisted with concentration and before she could make her mother call 911 and order pizza she fell off her chair and Lorelai snapped out of her trance.

Lorelai aimed her fist into the space before her and let caffeine vibes radiate the room.

Rory began running round in circles panting, in a dog like manner.

This went on for most of the night until the two got tired and forgot entirely the seriousness of the situation.

Hmmm…it feels kind of rushed…maybe its just coz I hate hospitals, I wanna get out as fast as I can! 


	4. Operation Teenation?

**Disclaimer: Hey wait…do I have to do these at the beginning of _every _chapter? Coz if I don't, Id appreciate if someone told me!!!**

The next morning the dynamic duo – The Gilmore Girls – set out to find out more about their new found powers, starting at the scenes of the crimes: Luke's and Chilton.

"Luke?"

"Uh huh?" Luke said to the underside of the sink.

"Lu-uke?"

What?" He asked a bottle of "Presto Clean".

"Luke!"

"What!!" Luke spun round to face an impatient Lorelei, bashing his head the counter.

"Watch the counter."

He surfaced, grimacing.

"Luke?"

"What is it Lorelei?" He shouted, grabbing the attention of most of the diner.

"I need to talk to you about the coffee I drank yesterday," Lorelei whispered in a tiny, miniscule, microscopic voice.

"NOT SO LOUD!!!" this grabbed the attention of the entire diner.

A hand full of faces was staring at the pair. Luke grabbed her wrist and whispered: "Not here, we need to talk in private."

Realizing the whole diner was still staring at them, which would make a private conversation exceedingly difficult, Luke pointed at the window "Oh my god!! Is Kirk wearing a ball gown and dancing on the gazebo?!"

The only person that looked was Kirk. "No. No I am not" he replied still gazing through the glass, hoping to see his elegant double.

Luke seemed to think his plan had worked and dived under a table, dragging Lorelei with him.

He released his breath after holding it in for a long, suspenseful and dreadfully boring pause. "Okay, now we can talk."

Obviously he hadn't noticed Mrs. Patty's, Bebet's and Mory's feet sticking out of the table cloth, but Lorelei didn't want to burst his bubble.

"Great. Can you get me a bagel?" Lorelei asked cutely. Luke held his breath as if compressing anger.

"No." He had now burst _her _bubble.

* * *

Rory stared at the receptionist that manned the space outside Principle Charlston's office. The receptionist stared back.

"Hello." Rory greeted her.

"Hello" the receptionist replied in a slow, dull voice.

"I need to go into Headmaster Charlston's office."

"You need to go into Headmaster Charlston's office."

"I need him out of there, can you get him out for a few minutes?"

"You need him out of there, I can get him out for a few minutes."

"Do it" Rory demanded firmly.

"Do it" the receptionist croaked manually.

The hypnotized parrot of a receptionist walked into the principal's office. A minute later she returned.

"Headmaster Charlston is out of his office for a few minutes."

Rory didn't think to inquire how the receptionist knew this and decided it wasn't worth the trouble. She rushed in and headed straight for the confidential files.

* * *

"So let me get this straight." Lorelei began. "You were watching baseball on that miniscule television of yours when you received messages from a space satellite about "Operation Teenation?".

"Yes. The satellite message was directed at somewhere in Stars Hollow. It spoke about the termination of the whole town and, from what I could tell, somebody in Stars Hollow is the one running the whole operation."

"No!" Lorelei gasped mockingly.

"Since then I've discovered that my port-a-TV can pick up all sorts of vibes. And only yesterday did I realize that 36% of them are going to Doose's Market!"

"No!" Lorelei gasped in the same slightly sarcastic disbelief.

"That means that _someone _is working undercover at Doose's in order to receive the top secret messages," he explained.

"No!" Lorelei was shaking her head in disbelief now.

"Could I maybe get a different response from you?" Asked an irritated Luke.

"No! The TV is called Port-a-TV? That is the lamest, cutest thin Ive ever heard!"

* * *

Bedrock…Befson…Belmont…_Betstein. _Ludwig Betstein's file was starring right up at Rory, her fingers itched towards it…

* * *

"You think there's more than one person working on this operation?" Lorelei repeated.

"Yeah. People from all over the state are in on the plan. I get the messages from all over!"

"What? Like who? Like where?"

"Well some people think that operation Teenation will benefit society, I have no idea how though… people from cities and small towns are sending in readings about nuclear weapon locations and other dangerous information,"

"Anyone we know?" Lorelei asked, immediately thinking of her mother on the topic of destroying human life.

"Um…two of Kirk's siblings…Rory's Principal…Tristan Dugrey's Military commander…"

"Rory's principal!!!" Lorelei gasped loudly and bolted out the door, leaving Luke to sit alone with only 's feet for company.

* * *

Rory gasped.

_True name: Caesar. Believed to be undercover spy working for enemy of Operation Teenation: Luke Danes. Possibly responsible for chemical explosion in chem. Lab C. Also possible troop of Luke Danes Defense program._

This made about as much sense as her mother on Mondays.

* * *

This meant principal Charlston was evil. As amusing as Lorelei would usually find this, today she didn't. Rory was probably in his office right now. If he was evil and he thought that she knew by knowing Luke about Operation Teenation then she was in deep deep trouble.

* * *

Rory heard a tapping on the window pane. A Tapping? She whirled round to see her headmaster balancing on the ledge outside. The receptionist had gotten him out of his office alright! She gasped and ran over to let him back into his office.

* * *

Lorelei flew over the highway leading to Chilton. She had to warn Rory. Take her home and tell her everything Luke had told her. She didn't know if Rory was really in danger. But somehow she felt it.

* * *

The headmaster stepped in and looked at Rory.

"I should have known your connections with Luke Danes left you too meddlesome for your own good!" he spat.

"What?" Rory asked breathlessly.

"You know what! I bet he's told you all about our plans. I bet your part of his! I bet that chemical explosion was his way of using you to make you his army! I bet he's paying you to kill me! Yes that's right, well I'm going to put a stop to his plan once and for all!" he pulled out a revolver and held it at the petrified Rory's forehead.

* * *

Charlston's office was right there. There was the window. Lorelei swooped down near it and aimed her two bare hands at the window. 3…2…1

* * *

CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The window shattered to pieces behind the headmaster and Rory dived beneath his desk just in time. Charlston collapsed to the floor and in swooped Lorelei – No, Kathy Coffee! – to give him a good ass-whoopin'.

She burned him with boiling coffee and booted him in the face with her heel. He lay in a slump on the floor, snapped out of his daze and took a swing at her shin. She jumped just in time, did a very impressive somersault and landed fist-first on his stomach. He lay winded on the carpet and Lorelei raced to her daughter and the two flew home immediately.

* * *

"My only question is: How do _we_ come into it?" Lorelei pondered. "I asked Luke about how and why the magical coffee had turned me into a super hero, and he tells me about 'Operation Teenation". It doesn't make sense!"

"Isn't it obvious?" Rory replied, "Luke brought us in. He gave us our powers."

"But why would he do that?"

Lorelei and Rory had gone straight home after the rescue. Both pacing, both injured lightly, both trying too figure out this crazy scheme.

"Because he wants us in the Luke Danes Defense program. The defense of Stars Hollow via Luke Danes. We are the key, Mom. We are going to stop Operation Teenation! We are going to save Stars Hollow from doooooooom!"

Lorelei sighed heavily.

"I cant even save enough to get a new DVD player."

**Hopefully this has shed some light on the mystery of their powers.**

**How can the dynamic duo save Stars Hollow? Who is the mysterious, traitorous master of Operation Teenation? And just what is the point of it all?!?!? Find out all of this and much more, in the coming chapters of…..**

**STARS HOLLOW HEROES!!!!!!!!!!!**


End file.
